So, I love it that Laurie has joined as a blog author here!! A genuinely good-hearted feisty and brilliant woman.
Action Ideas for Today:
1. Support real news! Expanding on what Laurie wrote about making sure you're reading real news, if you have the money, support real news by subscribing or donating. I've just rearranged my spending plan so I can pay for a New York Times subscription as well as an online subscription to The Guardian.
Other ideas for legitimate journalism (although always do your sanity-checks even with these):
2. Get real about narcissists! I have no doubt that #45 is a raging narcissist (or the very least, borderline personality) and I mean this in a "DSM V" kind of way. What does that mean to you and me? It means we have to accept the idea that no amount of shaming or negative attention will convince him to change his behavior. Blasting shaming tweets at him? Not worth it. We have to take action that goes around him, support those fighting his actions and most importantly, focus on PRINCIPLES not PERSONALITIES. Stick to the issues. Personally, I do better when I make my fight about equal treatment under the law and not about "that orange asshole." He is not going to be changing his personality, so let's get smarter about our action. It was never about him anyway. It's about what he has unleashed.
Here is an excellent article that can help us set correct expectations, especially around normalizing: (Normalizing - Normalizing is a tactic used to desensitize an individual to abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviors. In essence, normalizing is the manipulation of another human being to get them to agree to, or accept something that is in conflict with the law, social norms or their own basic code of behavior.)
This is why it's so important to keep calling out that "THIS IS NOT NORMAL."
Here is the description from the Mayo Clinic. See if you can recognize the patterns.
Action Ideas for Today:
1. Support real news! Expanding on what Laurie wrote about making sure you're reading real news, if you have the money, support real news by subscribing or donating. I've just rearranged my spending plan so I can pay for a New York Times subscription as well as an online subscription to The Guardian.
Other ideas for legitimate journalism (although always do your sanity-checks even with these):
2. Get real about narcissists! I have no doubt that #45 is a raging narcissist (or the very least, borderline personality) and I mean this in a "DSM V" kind of way. What does that mean to you and me? It means we have to accept the idea that no amount of shaming or negative attention will convince him to change his behavior. Blasting shaming tweets at him? Not worth it. We have to take action that goes around him, support those fighting his actions and most importantly, focus on PRINCIPLES not PERSONALITIES. Stick to the issues. Personally, I do better when I make my fight about equal treatment under the law and not about "that orange asshole." He is not going to be changing his personality, so let's get smarter about our action. It was never about him anyway. It's about what he has unleashed.
Here is an excellent article that can help us set correct expectations, especially around normalizing: (Normalizing - Normalizing is a tactic used to desensitize an individual to abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviors. In essence, normalizing is the manipulation of another human being to get them to agree to, or accept something that is in conflict with the law, social norms or their own basic code of behavior.)
This is why it's so important to keep calling out that "THIS IS NOT NORMAL."
Here is the description from the Mayo Clinic. See if you can recognize the patterns.
If you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may feel a sense of entitlement — and when you don't receive special treatment, you may become impatient or angry. You may insist on having "the best" of everything — for instance, the best car, athletic club or medical care.
At the same time, you have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation. To feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make yourself appear superior. Or you may feel depressed and moody because you fall short of perfection.
Many experts use the criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, to diagnose mental conditions. This manual is also used by insurance companies to reimburse for treatment.
DSM-5 criteria for narcissistic personality disorder include these features:
- Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
- Exaggerating your achievements and talents
- Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
- Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
- Requiring constant admiration
- Having a sense of entitlement
- Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
- Taking advantage of others to get what you want
- Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
- Being envious of others and believing others envy you
- Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal and value yourself more than you value others.
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